Apr 17, 2024
Do you struggle with your relationship with your mother? Today, I’m talking to Khara Crosswaite Brindle. We explored mother-daughter estrangement and the process of healing from toxic relationships. We discussed her book on ruptured mother-daughter bonds and the common cycle of estrangement that includes questioning the relationship, potential relationship ruptures, and stages of grief, self-discovery, and redefining self-worth. We both shared personal experiences of emotionally unavailable mothers and the impact this had on their sense of self. They described struggles with people-pleasing, perfectionism, and boundary-setting due to a lack of modeling in childhood.
Questions I asked:
o Where about do you live on the planet?
o Do you go to the gym now?
o What brought you into talking about Mother Daughter estrangement?
o What assumptions about estrangement need to be dispelled?
o What social stigmas are attached to this mother daughter estrangement?
o What would you speak to women today that have gone through something like that? So they can understand their value?
o How does one put boundaries in place when I may not even know what they should be?
o How do you realize you’re worthy of these boundaries?
o What's what would you say, separates these stages in the parental estrangement experience?
o What separates the stages in the parental estrangement experience according to Kara's model?
o What social stigmas are attached to mother-daughter estrangement?
o What would you tell women today who have gone through abandonment by their mothers to help them understand their value?
o How do people stop people-pleasing to your own detriment?
o What is the name of Kara's book and where can people find it?
Topics Discussed:
- Mother-daughter estrangement and the estrangement cycle
- Impacts of emotionally unavailable, narcissistic, and abusive mothers
- Intergenerational patterns of trauma and their effects
- Struggles with self-worth, perfectionism, people-pleasing due to childhood experiences
- Grieving the loss of an idealized mother-daughter relationship
- Stages of healing from estrangement, including grief, self-discovery, and redefining self-worth
- Importance of setting boundaries and distinguishing emotional vs. physical estrangement
- Societal pressures and stigma surrounding estrangement decisions
- Role of community and therapy in healing from childhood trauma
- Insights and strategies shared from Kara Cross's book on ruptured mother-daughter relationships
Quotes from the show:
· “No daughter that I've worked with was like, this is fun for me. In fact, they're usually in grief and loss, they're usually in pain.” @optivida @SisterhoodSweat
· “This book felt like a love letter to adult daughters who didn't feel the same. @optivida @SisterhoodSweat
· “Most of the people I work with are women of all different backgrounds, all the way from like 19 years old to like 65.” @optivida @SisterhoodSweat
· “I was noticing a pattern where these women would come in with trauma, but they'd also have other relationship stressors, and life stuff.” @optivida @SisterhoodSweat
How you can stay in touch with Khara:
· Schedule with me for a Professional Consultation or Discovery Call
· Am I a Perfectioneur? A Quiz!
· Grow Your Business with Perfectioneur Pointers
· Ready for the Perfectioneur Workbook?
· Join the Perfectioneur community!
· Khara is author of Amazon #1 Best Seller Perfectioneur: From Workaholic to Well-Balanced and co-author of The Empowerment Model of Clinical Supervision available at Amazon.com
· All services: croswaitecounselingpllc.com
How you can stay in touch with Linda:
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